What scares Eric?
That’s a tough one. Of course there are the jump scares or startles that you can get from a horror movie, but that’s not really fear, those are more of an unexpected surprise. I can say I have an irrational fear of water and unrestrained heights. The water one is pretty easy to explain, the heights, not so much.
When I was kid I took swimming lessons at our local pool. The first part of the first lesson was to become acclimated to being underwater and holding your breath. How was this accomplished? The teacher forced you underwater until she felt it was time to let you up. Without warning, for what seemed like hours I was forced underwater. The teacher wouldn’t stop until I stopped struggling. That never happened. The next day, my so called friends poked fun at me by dunking me, constantly. At age 8 or 9, this was traumatic. I believe it is also the root of my fear of water. To this day, if I see a water park, I cross to the other side of the street.
Unrestrained heights is an odd one. I can’t really explain it. I love roller coasters. The taller and faster the better. I have no issue with flying either. Yet put me on a ladder, on the roof of a house, or even on a tall bridge, and I start to freak out. I have learned to temper my response some as I have gotten older, but it still is an issue for me. One that’s not as easy to avoid as water.
But these fears or phobia still aren’t the kind of fear that keeps me up at night. I am not haunted by water or heights, more embarrassed than anything I suppose.
Like many people, I suppose my deepest fear is failure. I fear that I failed parents, failed my children, failed my wife, failed my friends, failed myself. That to me, is the ultimate fear. This is something I may or may not have complete control over, and if it goes wrong, it is my own fault. To me, the fear of failure is what keeps me up at night.
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